But Hitchcock never did this...
Day one of directing "The Dark Show".

("The Dark Show" is a massive project, roughly the size of shooting a feature film. When it is complete it will be seven webisodes of fifteen minutes each. Each episode has a theme and lots of short, edgy and, yes, dark sketches. How many? There are 287 named characters. There are over 80 locations. It is a big project. Happily it is also a project which can be shot in little chunks of one or two sketches per shooting session.)

Saturday night one of our actors calls "The Dark Show" producer Crystal to say he has a plumbing crisis (not a metaphor for some bowel trouble but an actual plumbing problem). He can't make it. Crystal has already told the back-up actor earlier in the day that he won't be needed, so he made other plans. Her best attempts to get him to come fail. Which is astounding because Crystal is very cute and very persuasive.

So we have no actor to play this role.

Uh....role in the loosest sense.

Left with no other alternative, I take one for the team and the part.

"Hitchcock used to have cameo's in his films too..." I tell myself.

It doesn't help.

So Day one of my directing of "The Dark Show" I spent two hours, wearing only gray briefs and socks,  on my hands and knees, with a lace doilie draped over me and a compete tea service on my back, as a human table.

Ah, the glory of show business.

Fuck you Hitchcock!